From the Editing Room Floor: The Waffle House Conspiracy (with photo evidence!) - 7/6/11
A comedian (whose name I can't recall, and thus I'm reduced to simply stealing his joke) one quipped that the Mason-Dixon Line should be replaced by the IHOP-Waffle House Line. It's hard to disagree: these days, nobody knows who Mason and Dixon were, but everyone south of Dixon's line knows what Waffle House is.

Indeed, it seems that a city's proximity to the Gulf of Mexico is directly proportional to the number of Waffle Houses it has. I passed a food/gas/lodging sign in Mississippi that had arrows pointing to three different Waffle Houses off the same exit. I began to theorize that all Waffle Houses are owned by the same evil mega-corporation that also owns all the near-Waffle House knock-offs: Waffle Shop, Waffle Iron, and the mysteriously named Huddle House (which is actually a pretty good restaurant, though whatever a 'Huddle' is, I'm not eating it).


Look at the signs. Same breakfast-focus, same Scrabble-tile lettering... All they change is the color, and at most three or four of the letters! It's all a big conspiracy, to dodge the Waffle Anti-Trust laws; otherwise, 65% of all restaurants in Mississippi would be Waffle House.

I also theorize that somehow, it all has to do with global domination. Though how this will be accomplished via waffles, I haven't yet figured out.




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